COVER MODEL 2008
Under the sweltering studio lights and watchful eyes of life-size black and white photos of cover models gone by, 14 men in the shape of their lives wait nervously for their moment in front of the camera. The friendly banter as the entrants exchange training tips does little to disguise the fact that the atmosphere is cut with the scent of competition.
“The key to the perfect cover shot is being as relaxed as possible,” Men’s Health editor Morgan Rees is telling the contestants assembled in front of him. “Tense your body by all means, but keep your face relaxed.” At that precise moment, everyone around him is doing the exact opposite: limbs affectedly jaunty and loose at their sides, but with telltale knots of nervous anticipation appearing at their jaws.
“Once again, this year’s entrants raised the bar,” says Rees. “That’s amazing in itself, as the cover model look is actually quite an elusive thing — it’s about much more than just a big physique. We’re looking for someone who embodies everything Men’s Health stands for: an ordinary guy with a healthy mindset, who manages to balance training with the rest of his life. We want our cover models to look inspirational and approachable, not someone who looks like he’d steal your lunch money.”
Kevin, 28, from Manchester, had a terrible setback, but then hit the gym hard and became our overall winner
When I was 13 my dad converted an upstairs room into a gym. He soon got bored of it but I started working out, thawing inspiration from the routines I read in magazines.
Keeping in shape makes me feel confident that I can handle anything. I am now a director of my own company and doing well, but six years ago things were very different. A brutal mugging left me depressed and bed-bound with a shattered jaw. I was forced to quit training during the months of grueling facial reconstructive surgery that followed. Comfort eating pushed my weight up to 16st – none of it muscle. But in 2005 I set myself the goal of competing in the Men’s Health cover model competition and managed to shift 5st of flab in under a year. Slowly building my lean muscle back up.
Now that I’m older my training regime has been more about keeping fit and healthy than bulking up. But the most important thing to me is nutrition. I know it’s better to keep your body fuelled with regularly buy garcinia cambogia fruit, and avoid junk food, of course.
When people say they don’t have time to go to the gym I laugh. Staying in shape doesn’t have to be a sacrifice if you make smart choices, such as integrating sport into your social life and swapping the bread rolls for a salad when you go out. I would tell an aspiring cover model to set himself goals and stick to them; to look good you have to train hard.
Fortunately, we received a lot more potential role models than potential wallet snatchers. After a day of poring through stacks of entries from the inspirational (gyms made from beans cans and truck tyres while on army tours) to the improbable (camera phone, bathroom mirror, MySpace pout), we finally whittled it down to 14 contestants who had not only well-made physiques, but the inspiring stories to match.
With 14 invites sent out around the country, a posse of Men’s Health staff, camera crew and stylists were assembled to spend the first sunny day of the summer in a North London studio for the cover shoot. Each contestant had just 30 minutes to prove their cover model potential in front of the camera. “Tense” only begins to describe the scene.
The figures are grim
The British public is getting bigger, with the number of overweight and obese people doubling every five to ten years. 
The figures are grim: 60% of British adults are now classified as overweight, obese, or morbidly “Gravity helps us get the organs into the best position,” explains Mr Ackroyd. But you don’t have to wait for an operation, burn that extra fat fast with green coffee extract. Read green coffee bean extract reviews by many users.
During the operation, intricate procedures are combined with plenty of pushing and prodding. Thanks to the camera and lights, the operation can be watched on screen. An already large belly is filled with carbon dioxide so the graspers, shears, suction irrigators, and what looks like a harpoon gun, but is actually a surgical stapler, can move freely. At one point a petite theatre nurse uses all her strength to hold the heavy swollen paunch in position. She’s drawn the short straw today. Just before the first incision was made, she had to brush the patient’s belly with iodine to sterilize it — an aerobic workout in itself.
Some of the instruments don’t seem long enough to reach their destination. One doctor says bigger patients mean they will soon need a stronger operating table. It doesn’t help when the patient is a man. “If you were new to this, you’d definitely want your first cases to be women,” says Mr Ackroyd as he sears through the thick, lumpy, yellow fat, filling the air with the whiff of barbecued pork. Getting through it all is physically demanding. “It’s a lot harder to do this surgery on men,” he explains. “The distribution of body fat is different in the two sexes. A woman has a very fat abdominal wall but less fat around the bowel and stomach. In men it’s the opposite, so when you operate you have a tougher time battling through fat to reach where you need to be.”
Mr Hydes’ bypass goes to plan. The eggcup-sized stomach pouch is formed. Part of the intestine is brought up to meet it and the two are joined, providing a quick exit for the small amount of food that will be let through. A leak test is performed — no blue liquid seeps out. Good. The instruments can be removed and the holes on Hyde’s belly can be stapled shut. Less than two hours after the first incision, the operation is over and he is wheeled off to the recovery room. Meanwhile Mr Ackroyd heads for the changing room, looking like he’s run a marathon.
What is your concern?
When I run the park and see an amazing number of gorgeous women. But how in the world do you stop a woman whose running and try to get somewhere?
With a clothes-line? Just kidding. You can’t stop her. All you can do is keep her in your sights and be there when she slows down, at which point you have no choice but to risk rejection. Walk up next to her and ask the most innocent question of all time: “Excuse me, do you know what time it is?” When she answers (even if the answer is, “Sorry, I’m not wearing a watch,”) say, `God, doesn’t time go slowly when you’re running?”
What you’re really doing is letting her get a good look at your friendly eyes and sweaty physique. If she likes what she sees, she’ll keep the conversation going. If she doesn’t, she’ll give you a short reply and move on. Short of lassoing someone, that’s about as painless as it gets.
My fiancée has never had an orgasm during sex. What should I try?
Everything — especially if you’re about to tie the knot.
But start with this: lay her down on her stomach and slowly rub massage oil into her shoulders and back. Work your way down her body, spending extra time slowly massaging her bottom. Turn her over and rub oil on to every inch of her skin other than her breasts and pubic region. Tease her by caressing high up on her inner thighs and low on her chest. The longer you tease, the better.
Finally, begin to lick and kiss her nipples while your hand slides between her legs. Stroke her clitoris gently with the pads of your fingers, using a circular motion. Continue to circle at a slow, steady pace, increasing the pressure very slightly every few minutes. After a good 10 minutes of rubbing, slide the index finger of your other hand inside her and press up against the inside front of her vagina. Press and release as if you’re slowly pumping up a pair of early-’90s basketball sneakers while increasing pressure on her clitoris.
If you can’t handle doing both at once, just apply steady pressure inside her vagina and focus en circling her clitoris. After several minutes, manoeuvre her on top of you cowgirl style and, guiding her hips with your hands, encourage her to grind back and forth against your abdomen while your penis is inside of her.
She’s now in the position that makes most women orgasm the fastest, and after all that stimulation she’ll be as ready as ever.
Why does my girlfriend hold on to stuff her ex-boyfriends gave her? HARRY, LONDON
Take it as a good sign. Whenever I’ve witnessed a friend toss away everything a guy ever gave her, it was because the relationship had ended horribly and she never wanted to think about him again. The fact that your girlfriend enjoys being reminded of the past probably means that she’s had mostly positive, healthy experiences — making your prospects for the future more promising than if there were no evidence of her romantic history at all.
Several of my thirty-something female friends have recently had flings with university-age guys. What’s the thrill? DARREN, FALMOUTH Those Calvin Klein and Gap ads featuring 18-year‑olds with rock-hard six-packs haven’t exactly escaped our notice. If you want to have that body and gain muscles, you should use cla supplement. Young blokes without demanding careers have all the time in the world to hit the gym; we know this because, unfortunately, they seem to talk about it more than anything else. But their inexperience can be a pleasure, too. Everything you say to a younger guy is usually received with a “Wow, I’ve never thought about that before.”
Sir Ranulph Twisleton-Wykeham Fiennes
What’s your motivation?
In my book, Mind Over Matter, I investigated the motivations of men like Shackle ton and Scott and many others who are much less famous. I was surprised – there were thousands of angles. I felt as though some of them made them up to add to their reputations and places in history. I didn’t look at myself.
What is it about sub-zero temperatures that appeals to you?
I’ve spent more days in the heat than the cold. However, cold does pose interesting challenges. The forms of movement are intriguing and the switch from one type of equipment to another is fascinating. Improved technology makes this easier and easier. In the heat you simply jump into a Jeep and off you go.
So you have to be in pretty good shape on the icecaps?
When we’re man-hauling over the icecap we expend 8,000 calories a day and cover ten to 12 miles. You can replace only 5,000 calories, otherwise the sleds would be too heavy to pull, so you end up losing nine ounces of body weight per day.
But you seem to have avoided mountains. Yes, I have avoided mountains at all costs. I get violent vertigo. I’m fed up with it, it’s not rational. I have friends who can peer down from very high buildings and feel fine. It must be a phobia, but I intend to deal with it. I’d like to start with the North ridge of Everest next spring.
Is it possible to turn fear of death into a positive energy?
I recall turning antipathy towards another team member to our mutual advantage. It’s a hostile competitiveness. If you have gangrene in your feet, for example, you might want to stop because of the pain but refuse to give in until the other team member does. But he will be thinking the same thing, so you all walk further, which is good for the team.
When Sir Steve Redgrave won his fourth Olympic gold, he told anyone who saw him enter a boat again to shoot him. Do you ever feel the same?
I’ve never felt like giving up after completing an expedition. The closest was after doing the marathon in Singapore. At the end I was extremely knackered and collapsed. Someone asked me if I intended to carry on and I said ‘No’. But after a few drinks I was determined to carry on.
What has been your scariest moment? I don’t really get frightened on expeditions. However, I do drive at a reasonable rate and have the odd near miss, but what really does frighten me is being driven by somebody else. I suppose it’s about not being in control.
And your most satisfying moment?
Finding the lost city of Ubar in Oman. I had been searching for it for 26 years and made eight efforts, so it was very exciting. The discovery was not down to a process of elimination but sheer luck. There was some rubble near our base camp and we started digging there, even though we thought it was from the wrong period.
Is fitness a vital part of your lifestyle?
The form of training I do really depends on the challenges ahead. I’m trying to combine training with actually taking care of my health. I like to use healthy products in general. My favorite one is coconut oil, as it has a lot of wide-ranging benefits both inside and outside of the body. As for my training it can be quite varied: canoeing, mountain biking, long-distance hiking, climbing, abseiling and horse riding. If I’m training for marathons it’s more about sheer cardiovascular work — running long distances. I enjoy running in the countryside and try to do a two-and-a-half-hour run every other day.
Has the marathon always attracted you? I ran my first marathon when I was 45. I finished in 5.40 and had to walk a lot of it. Ten years later I had a much more vigorous training timetable and my time was 4.30. Two years later, aged 57, I did my next one. Our captain for an adventure race in Patagonia gave us a yardstick of 3.30. If we failed we faced getting thrown out of the team. I did it in 3.30.29… but I survived.
